Top ten dad jokes

Posted by Jade O'Donoghue to Top ten | 06th Jun 2013

Top ten dad jokes "I went to the corner shop for some milk today. I spent all my money on corners though."

Since Father’s Day is just over two weeks away we thought we’d celebrate the paternal figures in our lives with some of our favourite dad jokes and thus justify the fact that we will be giving comedy courses as a gift this year (he needs to learn!).

If you’ve never heard of dad jokes, they’re the ones he makes that everyone groans at, pun heavy and usually completely inappropriate. If you’ve never actually heard any dad jokes, then you’re one of the lucky ones who can actually lay claim to a genuinely funny father.

Anyway, since his big day is coming up and it only comes around once a year, we thought we’d humour all those dads up and down the country who think they could rival the likes of Peter Kay and Lee Evans with their hilarity. This list comes with a warning though, do not try these dad jokes at home – we can promise you, no one will laugh.

 

1.       Usually said when driving past a cemetery: You know, that is the dead centre of town!

 

2.       You: I’m hungry. Your dad: Hi hungry, I’m dad.

 

3.       I walked past a pet shop the other day and said, ‘How much do you charge for wasps?’ The owner looked at me a bit strangely and replied, ‘We don’t sell wasps.’ So I said, ‘Well that’s weird because there was one in the window yesterday!’

 

4.       You: I feel like a curry. Your dad: That’s odd because you don’t look like one.

 

5.       You: Please may I leave the table? Your dad: Where are you going to leave it?

 

6.       I just finished doing this puzzle and it only took me half an hour to do it! It’s a real achievement because it said five to six years on the box.

 

7.       I went to the corner shop for some milk today. I spent all my money on corners though.

 

8.       You: Isn’t it nice out? Your dad: Yeah, I might get mine out.

 

9.       I’m one of the best in the country at napping you know. I can do it with my eyes closed.

 

10.   You: Can you put the kettle on? Your dad: No, I don’t think it will look good on me.

 

Any you hadn’t heard before? If so, do not show your dad this list – no need to give him more ammunition! Have a look at the range of special offers for Father’s Day gift ideas, including a few comedy courses he might find useful and if you know some dad jokes that are even worse than these then comment below and tell us.

Photo found on Flickr: thefuturistics

Jade O'Donoghue posted 06th Jun 2013

Jade is our editor and will talk your ear off about rowing if you let her. She studied an MA and NCTJ diploma in Journalism at Brunel but her course-taking didn't stop there, having tried a number of different subjects since working here, even magic. Whether you're an expert who wants to share their knowledge, a student who's had a great experience or you just want to say hi, she'd love you to get in touch through our social media pages.

What do you think?

Back to top